I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
