just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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