wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
