so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
And then he peed in my hair
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
