I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
