If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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