thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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