She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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