He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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