honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
