those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
