its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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