Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
