The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
