Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Bring me that man meat
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