she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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