Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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