so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
