so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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