Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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