the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
