Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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