So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
