Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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