Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
