He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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