as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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