Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
