wrigley field is MILF paradise
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
