maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
