if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
