Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
