Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
