Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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