Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
