I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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