Christians are straight up FREAKS
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm đđ»đ
We are so blessed
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
His name isnt in my phone as âSatanâs spawnâ for no reason. #devildick
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