Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
