Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
