She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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