my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
