im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
