If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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