If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
