God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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