She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
