Porn is love you can see.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
