so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
