Your tits are I can't wait for
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
