; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I have aggressive nipples.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
