Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
