My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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