So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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