so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
